Polygamy and its conditions

Polygamy

Missionaries and orientalists treat the subject of polygamy as if it were one of the rites of Islam, or one of its duties, or at least a desirable practice in Islam. This is an inaccuracy or a misconception.
The overwhelming norm of marriage, for a Muslim, is to marry one woman to be
his solace, the joy of his heart, the keeper of his house, and the one to trust
with his secrets. Thus, quietude, love, and mercy, the foundation of married
life according to the Qur'an, would support them. Therefore, the learned say,
"It is disliked for a man who has a wife who is chaste and modest and who
is enough for him to marry another. This will subject him to what is forbidden." The Almighty says:
"You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your
ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time
and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor
married)". [Surah 4:129]

The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said, "The man who had two wives and was inclined towards one of them will come on the Day of Judgement bent to one side". [ Transmitted by Abu Dawud - his own wording -
(3133), Al Termithy (1141), A-Nisa'i, 7/63, Ibn Majah (1969), Al-Doramy p.539,
and Ahmad, 2/347, 471. All on the authority of Abu Huraira.] As for the man
who is unable to sustain a second wife, or who is afraid of not being fair [ The obligatory
fairness is to treat them equally in maintenance, clothing and housing.
He is forbidden to go to the one on the night devoted to the other except out
of expedience such as a crisis or grave illness. He is also forbidden to go
there in the day time except for necessity such as a visit for a harmless
illness, or to inquire about a certain matter he needs. If he does not stay
long, there is no expiation because it is a slight matter. If he stays or has
his lust consumed, he should expiate by going to the one he treated unfairly
and staying at her place the same time he stayed with the first woman. That is
what is decided as an elucidation of the obligatory justice.] to both of them,
it is for bidden for him to marry another. The Almighty says:" but if you
fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only
one". [Surah 4:3]

Though it preferable for a man to have only one wife to avoid slips and out of fear of troubles in this world as well as punishment on the Day of Judgement, there are other humane considerations for the
individual and society-which we will mention-that made Islam allow the Muslim
to marry more than one wife. This is because Islam is the religion which
conforms to sound naturalness and treats reality with out escape, exaggeration
or fantasy.

Polygamy in olden times and in Islam

Some people talk about polygamy as if Islam was the first to permit it. This is incorrect and a dismissal of history.

Many nations and religions before Islam had allowed marrying a great number of women, tens of them, even a hundred, without any conditions or limitations. The Old Testament mentioned that David had three
hundred women and that Solomon had seven hundred, some of whom were wives,
while others were concubines.

With the advent of Islam, a condition and a limitation were laid on polygamy. The limitation made the maximum number of wives four. Ghilan Ibn Salma became a Muslim while he had ten women, so the
Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said to him, "Choose four
of them and leave (divorce) the others". [ Transmitted by
Al-Termithy (1128) and Ibn Majah (1953) On the authority of Ibn 'Umar] The same thing
happened to those who embraced Islam while having eight or five wives; they
were ordered by the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) not to keep more
than four.

As for the marriage of the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) to nine women, it was something restricted and specified by Allah for him for the Islamic call and for the nation's need of them after his
passing away. He lived most of his life with one wife, Khadijah, may Allah be
pleased with her. That was a glorification by Allah of the Prophet's wives, who
chose the way of Allah, His Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) and the
afterlife. Therefore, Allah forbade him to marry any others nor to choose
another instead of one of his wives. The Almighty says: "It is not lawful
for you (to
marry other) women after this, nor to change them for other wives even though
their beauty attracts you". [Surah 33:52]

Fairness is a condition of polygamy

As for the condition set forth by Islam for polygamy, it is the self-confidence of the Muslim to be fair in his treatment to his two wives in food, drink, clothing, housing and sustenance. If one is
not sure of his ability to fulfil such duties equitably and fairly, he is
forbidden to marry more than one wife. Allah says: " But if you
fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only
one". [Surah 4:3] The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) said, "Whoever has
two wives and is more inclined towards one of them, he will come on the Day of
Judgement dragging one of his sides while it is drooping". [ Transmitted by Abu
Dawud - his own wording (3133), Al-Termithy (1141), Al-Nisa'i, 7/63, Ibn Majah
(1969), Al-Doramy p.539, and Ahmad, 2/347, 471. All on the authority of Abu
Huraira.] The inclination which the Hadith warns us of takes place when
he overlooks her rights and not when he merely inclines in feelings toward her,
which is part of the equity that is not possible and which is forgiven by
Allah. The Almighty says: " You will never be able to do perfect
justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too
much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision)". [Surah 4:129] For this reason,
the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) used to divide equitably between
his wives and say, "Allah, that is my division as it is in my power to do so.
Do not blame me for what You have and I have not. [ Transmitted by Abu
Dawud (2134), Al-Termithy (1140), Ibn Majah (1971), Al-Doramy Book of Marriage
p.540, and Ahmad 6/144 on the authority of isha.] By what he had not got , he meant
feelings and inclination towards one of them in particular. Whenever he used to
travel, he turned to drawing lots; the one whose arrow appeared would accompany
him. He resorted to that in order to avoid jealousy and to satisfy them all.

Islam is the last word of Allah by which all His messages are concluded (sealed). Therefore, it came with a general and eternal Law to embrace all nations, all ages and all people. Islam has not made laws
for the urban while overlooking the rural, nor for the cold regions and not the
hot ones, or vice versa; nor for a certain age while ignoring the rest of the
ages and the other generations. Islam appreciates the importance of individuals
as well as communities.

A man could have a strong desire to have children but find him self married to a wife who is childless because of infertility or illness, or any other reason. Would it not be more respectable and better for
her if he married another to realise his wish while at the same time keeping
the first and ensuring her rights?

Some men are more sexual and lusty, but one could be married to a wife who has little desire for men, or who is ill or has a long period of menstruation or whatever. She does not satisfy the desire of his
instinct nor fill his lustful eyes that seek other women. Would he not be
allowed to marry another in a lawful manner instead of seeking another as a
mistress, or instead of divorcing the first one?

In addition, the number of eligible women for marriage might be more than the men able to marry, especially after wars that deplete the best of men and youth. It might be in the interest of the society
and the women themselves who would prefer being second wives than living as
spinsters all their lives, deprived of married life and what it has of
quietude, love and protection, deprived of the bliss of the motherhood their
instincts call for. There are only three ways for these surplus women:

1 - to spend their whole life feeling the bitterness of deprivation of married life and of motherhood, which is a severe punishment for them as they did not commit any crime.

2- or give them some freedom to follow their instincts and accept the means of pleasure with corrupt men who, after satisfying their desires, cast them away when their bloom and youth are gone.
This is in addition to what might happen afterwards of begetting illegitimate
children, increasing the number of fatherless children
deprived of physical and psychological rights who become unproductive citizens
and tools of destruction and corruption.

3- or to allow them each to marry a married man who is able to sustain and protect her, confident of his fairness as Allah Almighty has commanded.

Doubtless, this last alternative is the ideal, fair solution and a curing balm. That is what Islam has decreed: "And who is better in judgement than Allah for a people who have firm Faith". [Surah 5:50]

Polygamy as a moral, human system

The system of polygamy according to Islamic Law is a moral, human system. It is moral because it does not allow man to have intercourse with any woman he wishes, at any time he likes. He is not allowed
to have intercourse with more than three women in addition to his (first) wife,
and he cannot do that secretly, but must proceed with a contract and announce
it, even among a limited audience. The people in charge of the woman should
know about this lawful intercourse and agree to it or at least should not object
to it. It should be registered-according to the modern system-in a specialized
court for marriage contracts. It is desirable to have a special dinner for the
occasion in which the man invites his friends. Dufoof (hand drums) may be
played to express utmost joy and hospitality.

It is human because through it a man lessens the burdens of the community by sheltering a woman who has no husband and transforms her to a chosen, protected wife. It is also human because he
justifies his sexual intercourse based on a legal marriage for which the
bridegroom provides a dower, furniture and expenses. Also of social benefit is
the establishment of a social unit (family) capable of producing working
progeny. It is also human because he is not only responsible for the woman with
whom he has intercourse, but he is responsible when she suffers from the
troubles of pregnancy. He does not leave her to bear it alone, but he bears a
part of it by paying for her sustenance and expenses during her pregnancy and
for her delivery. It is also that he recognizes the children begotten through
sexual intercourse and presents them to the society as the fruits of a noble
and honourable love, which are cherished by him and will be by the society in
the future.

Dr Mustafa El-Siba'i, may Allah have mercy on him, said of the system of polygamy, "Man distributes and lessens his lust to a certain extent, but he multiplies his burdens, troubles and responsibilities to
an unlimited extent." Certainty, it is a moral system protecting morals,
and it is a human system honouring mankind.

The Western system of promiscuity is immoral and inhuman

How different the Islamic system is from the actual promiscuity in the life of the Western society! One Western writer insisted that no one on his death-bed could confess to the priest that he had not had
intercourse with a woman (other than his wife) at least once in his life-time.
This promiscuity of the West is without a law; moreover, it occurs while the
law stands by. It does not happen in the name of wives, but in the name of
friendships and mistresses. It is not limited to only four, but is unlimited.
It is not announced in order to be celebrated by the family, but happens
secretly without anyone knowing about it. In addition, it does not commit the
doer to any financial responsibility towards the women he has intercourse with.
Suffice it for him to tarnish their honour and then leave them to scandal and
poverty and to endure the troubles of pregnancy and delivery. Besides, he is
not committed to recognize the children begotten as the outcome of the
intercourse. They are considered illegitimate, bearing the stigma of being
bastard children as long as they live.

It is a legal promiscuity, but it is not called "polygamy". It is void of any moral behavior, awakening of sensibility or human feeling. It is a promiscuity directed by lust and selfishness
which flees from any responsibility.

Which of the two systems then is closer to morality, more allaying to lust, more honourable to women, more denotative of progress and more righteous to humanity? [ See Women Between Jurisprudence and Law (Al-Mara'ah
baina al-Fiquh wal-Qann) by Dr Mustafa El-Sibai. See also The Liberation of
Woman in the Period of the Messenger (Tahrir al-Mara'ah fe Asr Al-Resalah) by
Abd Al-Haleem Abu Shaqqah, fifth part.]

The abuse of the license of polygamy

We do not deny that many Muslims have abused the license of polygamy as decreed by Allah in the same way they have abused the license of divorce, as explained earlier. The failure is not in the Law itself
but in the application due to misunderstanding, ill manners, or lack of the
teachings of the religion.

We have seen some men marry more than one when the man is not certain of his fairness, which is a condition set by Allah for marrying another. Some of them marry more than one when they are unable to
sustain both nor, in addition, what follows the marriage, i.e. children and
responsibilities. Some men are able to sustain more but are unable to protect
them.

Frequently, the abuse of this right leads to harmful consequences for the family as a result of pampering the new wife and treating the old one unfairly. He could totally end his inclination towards her until
she is left hanging in the air, so to speak, neither married nor divorced. This
frequently leads to envy among children who belong to one father because he is
not fair to them in their rights, nor does he treat them equally in moral and
financial dealings.

Whatever the transgression of some people in that realm, it will never reach the evil to which the Westerners have lowered themselves by considering the moral polygamy a crime while allowing the immoral
promiscuity. (However, polygamy is longer a problem in most Muslim societies,
as marriage to one woman has now become a great problem.)

The call of westernized people to forbid polygamy

Unfortunately, some people calling for Westernization in our Arab and Islamic countries have made use of what has happened because of the Muslims who transgress; they raise their voices asking for polygamy to be
abolished completely. Day and night the disadvantages of polygamy are
reiterated while silence is kept about the disadvantages of adultery and
fornication, which is, unfortunately, allowed by local laws which rule over
Muslim states nowadays. The mass media, especially films and serials, have
played a serious role in spreading repulsive feelings toward polygamy, among
women in particular, so that some of them would tolerate the husband when he
commits adultery but not when he marries another.

The basis on which those who call for rejection of polygamy rely

Such advocates have succeeded in some Arab and Islamic countries, and laws have been issued forbidding what God has ordained and made lawful, thus allowing the laws of the West. There are still others who
call for these changes in other countries.

The incredible thing in this case is they want to justify their system of polygamy in the name of Islamic Law and have proofs in the form of jurisprudence. They have objected it is the right of the person in
authority to prevent what is allowed when it is in the interest of the people,
or to avoid harm. Such a pretext is unacceptable by Islamic Law. Some have even
gone so far as to attempt, in a rude and audacious way, to use the Qur'an to
justify their claims. The Qur'an has put a condition for the man who marries
more than one to be sure of his fair treatment of the two (or more) wives, and
whoever is afraid of not being fair should keep only one. Allah says: "And if you
fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then many
(other) women of your
choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to
deal justly (with
them), then only one". [Surah 4:3] This is the
Qur'an's condition for polygamy-fairness. However, the Quran, they claim, has clarified in
another verse in the same Surah that the conditioned fairness is not possible,
in the verse: "You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives
even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her
more of your time and provision)". [Surah 4:129] Therefore, it is
claimed, this verse has negated the previous one In fact, all the evidence
which is being used is false and cannot stand sound criticism. Each will be
discussed.

1- Islamic Law does not allow something whose evil outweighs its good

The claim that polygamy has caused social and familial corruption and detriment is an open fallacy; Islamic Law cannot permit something which will do harm; likewise, it does not forbid something of
benefit. This is expressed in the Qur'an in the most eloquent and comprehensive
phrases with the description of the Messenger (blessings and peace be upon
him), and addressing the people of the Book (i.e., the Jews and Christians). "He
commands
them for Al-Ma'ruf (i.e. islamic Monotheism and all that Islam has ordained);
and forbids them from Al-Munkar (i.e.disbelief polytheism of all kinds, and all that
Islam has forbidden); he allows them as lawful At-Tayyibat [(all i.e. good and lawful) as regards things
deeds, beliefs, persons, foods etc] , and prohibits them as unlawful Al-Khabaith (all i.e. evil and unlawful as
regards things, deeds, beliefs, persons, foods etc.), he releases them
from their heavy burdens (of Allah's Covenant), and from the
fetters (bindings)
that
were upon them. [Surah 7: 157] All that is permitted by Islamic Law has
pure benefit or benefits which outweigh harm. All that is forbidden by Islamic
Law must have pure harm or the harms must outweigh the benefits. This is clear
in what is said in the Qur'an about alcohol and gambling: Say, "In them is
great sin, and (some)
benefit
for men, but the sin of them is greater than their benefit". [Surah 7:219] This is also
what Islamic Law has provided for in polygamy, as it balances interests and
corrupting matters, benefits and harms.

It permits what the individual needs and is able to do as long as he is sure of his fairness, and is not afraid of being unjust or having a greater inclination towards one of them: "but if you
fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only
one". [Surah 4:3]

It may be in the interest of the first wife to be the sole one on the throne of marriage without any rivals, and she sees that she will be harmed by the presence of another wife; but it is also in the
interest of the husband to marry another to protect him from illicit
relationships or bring him an awaited-for child, etc.; moreover it may also be
in the interest of the second wife to have someone take care of her.

To have half a husband, to live under his protection and be in his charge may be better than living as a spinster, widow or divorcee, in deprivation.

It is also in the interest of society to protect its men and women by legitimate marriage-in which each of them bears the responsibility for himself or herself and the spouse and for what Allah may
give them of children-that is, instead of promiscuity, allowing the
multiplicity of mistresses, which is immoral and inhuman, and in which each has
the pleasure of a companion without any responsibility for what follows, even
if a child is born of that illicit relationship. In turn, the child is then
considered a wild plant without a father to belong to, or a family to give him
love and compassion or a heredity to cherish.

Which harms should be avoided then? On the other hand, Islamic Law has reserved the first wife's right to equity between herself and the second wife concerning maintenance, housing, clothing and staying at
her place. That is the equity put as a condition for polygamy. It is true that
some husbands do not observe the justice commanded by Allah, but the
misapplication does not mean the basic principle should be cancelled; otherwise
the whole of Islamic Law and all other laws would be abolished. Adherence of
the law should be enforced.

2- The right of the person in authority to prevent what is allowed

As to the claim that the person in authority has the right to prevent some of what is allowed, we have the following to say: what the Law has given to the person in authority is the right to limit some of what
is permitted for a weighty interest at some times, or in some cases, or for
certain people. He should not generally or utterly prevent it forever because
that would be like forbidding, which is only Allah's right, denied by the
Qur'an to the People of the Book. "They (Jews and
Christians) took their rabbis and their monks to be their lords besides
Allah by obeying them in things which they made lawful or unlawful according to
their own desires without being ordered by Allah". [Surah 9:31] The Hadith came
to interpret the verse, "They allowed for them and forbade
them and thus followed them". [ Transmitted by Al-Termithy on the authority
of Adeyy ibn Hatim in the interpretation sections (3095) and by lbn Jarir in
his interpretation section (16631). Al-Termithy said this Hadith is ghareeb
(i.e., it has only one transmitter), but in the section about Hudhaifa, it is
mauqf (i.e., it was narrated by the Companions, not by the Prophet [blessings
and peace be upon him]) and transmitted by Al-Tabary (16634).]

To limit what is allowed is like preventing the slaughter of animals on certain days to lessen their consumption, as happened at the time of `Umar, may Allah be pleased with him; or like preventing excess
cultivation of a certain crop so cultivation space will not encroach upon the space
attributed to growing grains and other nutritious crops that are staple foods
for the people. It is also similar to preventing the highest ranks of military
officers or diplomats from marrying foreigners for fear of leaking state
secrets through women to the enemies. It is also like preventing men from
marrying a Christian or a Jew out of fear that it would affect Muslim women,
especially in the communities that have small Islamic minorities and limited
Muslim expatriates.

But to come to something allowed by Allah in His Book and mentioned by His Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him), established in the state, such as divorce or polygamy, and to prevent it
utterly and forever is considered something different from limiting what is
allowed according to the examples given.

The meaning of You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives. [Surah 4:129]

As to the illustration from the Glorious Qur'an, it is wholly rejected. It is a corruption of the order of words and carries within it an accusation against the Prophet Mohammed (greetings and peace be upon him)
and his companions (may Allah be pleased with them), implying they did not
understand the Qur'an, or maybe that they did but intentionally deviated from
its precept. The verse quoted to illustrate the point also gives an answer if
the meaning is perused; Almighty Allah has allowed polygamy on the condition of
fairness, then highlights the fairness needed in the same chapter when He says: " You will
never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent
desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time
and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor
married)". [Surah 4:129] This verse indicates that complete and
absolute justice between women is impossible due to the nature of the human
being because complete justice requires equity between them in everything, even
in the inclination of the heart and in sexual desire, and that cannot be
controlled by the man. He may love one more than the other, incline towards one
more than another. Hearts are controlled and turned by Allah in the way He
likes.

Therefore, the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) used to say after dividing between his women the apparent affairs of maintenance, clothing and spending nights, "Allah, that
is my division as it is in my power to do so. So not blame me for what You have
and I have not". [ Transmitted by Abu Dawud (2134), Al-Termithy (1140), Ibn
Majah (1971) Al-Doramy Book of Marriage p.154; and Ahmad 61144 on the authority
of - isha] He meant the heart's inclination. It is this inclination in
which one cannot be fair that Allah has pardoned, as the Almighty does not
rebuke man for something beyond his ability when it is not in his power to do
it.

Therefore the noble verse says: "You will never be able to do pefect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her
more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other suspended (i.e. neither divorced nor
married)". [Surah 4:129] What is understood from this verse is
that some inclination, which is the emotional inclination, is forgivable.

The amazing thing is that some Arab countries adopt the forbiddance of polygamy, though in their legislation they do not forbid adultery, except in certain cases when one is forced (rape), or in the case of
the woman's marital infidelity if the husband does not drop the charge.
Adultery is described by Allah as a great sin: "And come not
near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a fahshah (a great sin), and an evil
way". [Surah 17:32]

I came to know through the great Imam Sheikh `Abd Al Haleem Mahmud, may Allah have mercy on his soul, that a Muslim living in an African-Arab country which had laws against polygamy secretly married another
wife through a legitimate conventional contract, abiding by all its conditions
except that it was not authenticated. This is because the country's established
law refused to authenticate or admit it and considered such a marriage a crime
for which he would have to be punished. The man used to frequent the house of
his (second) wife, so the police watched him and came to assume that she was
his wife and that he had committed an offence against the law. One night they
waited for him, arrested him at his wife's place and took him to court accusing
him of marrying a second wife.

The man was clever and asked those interrogating him, "But who told you she is my wife? She is not a wife. She is a mistress whom I took as a companion and I call on from time to time " The
interrogators were taken aback and told the man very politely, "We are
awfully sorry for the misunderstanding. We thought she was a wife and did not
know she was a companion." Thereupon, they released him because, to them,
to have the illicit company of a woman as a mistress to commit adultery with is
considered within the framework of personal freedom protected by the law.