masama bang magsama ang babaeng muslim at lalaking muslim kahit di pa sila kasal?
meron akong kaibigan di ko rin sya matulungan kasi wala rin akong alam masyado sa religion natin dahil gaya nya balik islam lng din ako...ikukuwento ko po ang sitwasyon sana lang po mapagpayuhan nyo ako ng sa ganon mabigyan ko din sya ng payo...meron po syang bf taga ibang bansa po at pag umuuwi sa pilipinas yung bf nya ehh sa kanila natutulog ang turingan na po nila ay mag asawa na kasal na lang po ang kulang mahal na mahal po sya ng bf nya kaso po meron na pong fiance ang bf nya at di po masabi ng bf nya sa fiance nya na may balak din syang pakasalan ang ang kaibigan ko dito sa pilipinas dahil natatakot po yung lalaki na di na sya pakasalan ng fiance nya pag nalaman ito mahal na mahal po ng lalaki yung 2 babae sa buhay nya ang problema di nya pa mapakasalan yung taga pilipinas dahil di pa sila kasal ng fiance nya at di nya pa rin nasasabi ito sa magulang nya kaya po yung friend kong babae na taga pilipinas ay naguguluhan mahal na mahal nya po yung lalaki ano po ba ang dapat nilang gawin???
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Permalink Reply by ibrahim on -
assalamualaykum bro,
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly: seeking knowledge in Islam is obligatory upon all muslims after shahaddah, inorder to know what ALLAH has commanded and what ALLAH has prohibitted, among others.
according to some scholars, which most intellectual and logical person will agree, that knowledge and reasoning are the only factors that make humans different from animals. meaning if man has no knowledge, especially islamic knowledge, then he is doing things out of animal instinct only. such as eating when he sees food, arousing his desire when he sees a woman, and approach her without any intention of marriage, fights when angry, etc.
secondly;
Taking a girlfriend does not only destroy the family, it destroys society, and those who do this are threatened with the punishment and wrath of Allaah. Love is a sickness that destroys the heart and leads to evil and immorality. The Shaytaan will keep tempting them and pushing them until they commit immoral actions , such as zina(fornication or adultery, or prostitution if she is paid for it), and thus each gets what he or she wants from the other.
There are many forbidden matters associated with this, such as transgressing against the honour of others, betraying trust, being alone with a member of the opposite sex, touching, kissing, speaking immoral words, then the greater evil which occurs at the end, which is the sin of zina.
Remember that he is angering his Lord with such sins as being alone with her, meeting her and talking to her, and anything more than that is even more serious and dangerous, such as sleeping with her.
You should realize that zina does not only involve the private parts, rather the eyes may commit zina, the ears may commit zina, the hand may commit zina and the foot may commit zina, as was proven from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). All of that leads to the zina of the private parts. So do not let the Shaytaan deceive you, for he is an enemy to you who wishes you evil and tells you to commit immoral actions.
Shaykh Muhammad al-Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen said:
Contact between lovers in improper and unlawful ways is a calamity and a real disaster. It is not permissible for the man to contact the woman in this case, or for the woman to contact the man. If he says that he wants to marry her, then he must tell her wali (guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that she wants to marry him, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them).
But if the woman contacts the man directly, this is the source of fitnah (temptation).
As’ilat al-Baab il-Maftooh (Question no. 868).
thirdly;
Our advice to him, is to discipline himself to obey Allaah and always remember that He is watching; fear Allaah concerning people’s honour; strive for the Day when he will meet his Lord with his deeds; remember the scandal that may happen in this world and the Hereafter. Remember that he has sisters and will have a wife and daughters, so would he like for one of them what he is doing with the daughters of the Muslims? The answer is that he would certainly not like it, and other people do not like it either. Remember that he may see the results of his sin in some of his family members as a punishment to him from your Lord.
he has to look for righteous friends, and he has to keep himself busy doing that which Allaah loves and is pleased with. Pay attention to the best and most sublime things and leave alone the worst and most vile things. Make the most of his youth in obeying and worshipping Allaah, seeking knowledge and calling others to Allaah. Remember that there were those of his age and younger who were men who had memorized the Qur’aan, who sought knowledge, whom the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent to call others to Allaah and to enter the religion of Islam.
We advise him to get married to a righteous, religiously-committed woman who will help him adhere to his religion and encourage him to adhere to the laws of Allaah, who will look after his children and bring them up with good morals and religious commitment. Give up this woman who agrees to go out with a man who is a stranger to her (a non-mahram) and meet him and talk to him; if she agrees to do immoral actions now then what is going to prevent her from continuing to do so in the future? and better to marrry her and another if he fulfills the conditions of marrying another wife, that is justice between his wives. in Suratun Nissa 4:3.
tell him to be ready for the punishment, because if he will not stop it, the forbidden sexual relations with woman not his wife, that angers ALLAH, and not repent, then he is putting his own self in the most dangerous situation against The Most severe punishment.
in suratul muminun 23:1-7 the english meaning " Successful indeed are the believers. those who offer their sallah with all solemnity and full submissiveness. and those who turn away from dirty , false, evil vain talks, and falsehood which Allah has forbidden. and those who pay zakkat. and those who guard their private parts, except for their wives, for them they are free from blame. but who seeks beyond that , then those are the transgressors.
fourthly;
there are only two types of sexual relations in islam: 1. halal-lawful as in marriage only and 2. haram-prohibitted in zina or when both are not married to eachother.
marriage is the solution against zina because sex is natural, if a person will not marry, he will be open and be tempted to commit zina. and zina is a sin which has one of the highest penalty in islamic shareeah, which is 100lashes with rattan stick for unmarried and stoning to death for those who are married.
ALLAH knows best
for more info and answers: www.islamqa.com/en
may ALLAH guide you and your friend, ameen
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Permalink Reply by Abdulaziz Salvador on -
Asalamalaykum bro. ibrahim...Napakaganda ng inyong paliwanag sa ating sister. Ako man ay naliwanagan dahil nasa parehong sitwasyon ako ngayon.
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Permalink Reply by Sireen Bustamante Gervacio on -
sana makatuloing sau at sa kaibign ko ang pinayo ni bro ^_^ salamat uli bro
Abdulaziz Salvador said:Asalamalaykum bro. ibrahim...Napakaganda ng inyong paliwanag sa ating sister. Ako man ay naliwanagan dahil nasa parehong sitwasyon ako ngayon.
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Permalink Reply by Ishmael (D.T.) Hong on -
As salamualaikum wrahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
Totoo yon kapatid malaking kasalanan sa allah(swt) ang pagsasama ng isang lalaki na hindi pa kasal, hindi lang sa batas ng Islam maging sa kristyanismo, ang isang babae at lalaki na nag sasama ng di pa kasal ay nagkakasala ng pakikiapid at ito ay may parusa na dapat batuhin hanggang sa mamatay, at saka kapatid lagi nating tandaan yon lang tumingin sa isang babae na hindi mo kaano-ano o walang relasyon sa iyo ay isang uri na ng pakikiapid, yon pa kaya na magsama na hindi kasal di lalo na di po ba? Marami naman po tayong mga IMAM OR USTADZ OR ELDERS NA nagkakasal bakit di na lang magpakasal. sa islam simple lang ang kasal, wala ng mga ninong at ninang, basta may wali , dowry , witnesses , imam , ustadz or other elders ay maari ng maganap ang kasalan, hindi naman magastos ang kasal sa islam kapatid.
Bilang Muslim Tungkulin natin na paalalahanan ang ating mga kapatid sa pananampalataya na naliligaw ng kaalaman,
lagi nating alalahanin ang kaparusahan ng Allah(swt). matakot tayo sa kanya sa pamamagitan ng pagiwas sa kanyang ipinagbabawal at pagsunod sa kanyang ipinag-uutos.
inshallah
wa salam
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