MARRIAGE THRU TELEPHONE

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Permalink Reply by jibril patriarca on November 21, 2011 at 9:01pm

wa alaikom salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu... Alhamdulillah, tama ka bro Ibrahim.

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Permalink Reply by fatima bueza on November 23, 2011 at 9:33am

      Assalamu alaikom warah matullahi wa barakatuh...maraming salamat muli brothr Ibrahim & brothr Jibril likewise to sister Rana 4 sharing more information to this matter. Malaking karagdagan kaalaman ito di lang sa akin kundi sa mga iba pa nating mga kapatid sa Islam na maaaring may ganito ding katanungan. Malaki din pala ang kinalaman ng mahar sa kasalang islamiko. Dagdag katanungan ko po tungkol naman sa mahar, pano na lamang ang ilang kalalakihan sa islam na nais ng mag-asawa ngunit kulang sa financial, lalo na sa pinas na matindi ang kahirapan sa hanapbuhay man o pananalapi. Required pa rin ba na magbigay ng mahar ang lalaki? Jazaajallhu khairan...at  nawa'y patuloy pa rin kayo makapagbigay paliwanag sa mga muslim or non-muslim member of this site.

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Permalink Reply by jibril patriarca on November 23, 2011 at 9:29pm

As-salam alaykum sister fatima, insha'Allah makadagdag kasagutan at kaalaman para sa ating lahat ito na nagmula din sa mga kapatiran natin sa islam.

 

The mahr (dowry) is something that is paid by the man to his wife.  It is paid to the wife and to her only as an honor and a respect given to her and to show that he has a serious desire to marry her and is not simply entering into the marriage contract without any sense of responsibility and obligation or effort on his part.

On of the more common names for it is Al-Sadaaq which comes from the word sidq meaning honesty or sincerity.  As-San'aani (Book:  Subul As-Salaam) explains its significance:  "It indicates the sincerity of the husband's desire for his wife.  In the religious laws before us the dowry used to go to the guardians."

Proof that the Mahr is Obligatory 

Allah says in the Qur'an:

{Wa aatoo an-nisaa'a saduqaatihinna nihlatan...}
{And give the women their dowries with a good heart...} An-Nisaa:4

This verse is addressed to either the husbands or the guardians.  It is addressed to the husbands because it is their responsibility to pay the dowry.  It could also be addressed to the guardians, not because they have to pay the dowry, but because in pre-Islamic jahiliya (and in much of today's "post-Islamic" jahiliya), they used to take the dowry of the women and not give it to them.  This verse shows that the dowry must be given to the women and not kept by the guardians.  The following verses also shows the obligatory nature of paying the dowry to the women:

{...Fa ma istamta'tum bihi minhunn fa aatoohunna ujoorahunna fareedha...}
{...So for that pleasure which you have enjoyed from them, give them their prescribed compensation..}  An-Nisaa:24

{...Wa uhilla lakum ma waraa'a dhalikum an tabtaghoo bi amwaalikum...}
{...All others have been made lawful for you provided you seek (them in marriage) with your property...}  An-Nisaa:24

Regarding on of the Companions who was poor and wished to marry, the Prophet (sas) said to him:

"Iltamis wa lau khaatiman min hadeed..."
"Search for something, even if it is just a ring made from iron."   Bukhari & Muslim

The Maximum and Minimum Amount of the Dowry

There are no authentic hadith or reports explicitly stating a minimum or maximum amount of dowry.  All hadith which explicitly state such things are weak narrations.   However, some scholars have relied on implicit conclusions from specific reports to determine an answer to the question of there being a minimum or maximum.

There is no maximum limit for the dowry.  Allah described the dowry in the Qur'an with the following words:

{Wa in aradtum istibdaala zaujin makaana zaujin wa aataitum ihdaahunna qintaaran falaa ta'khudhoo minhu shai'an.  A ta'khudhoonaha buhtaanan wa ithman mubeenan?}
{And if you wish to replace a wife with another and you have given one of them a heap of gold, do not take anything from it.  Would you take it as a fraud and a clear sin?}  An-Nisaa:20

The word qintaar means a very large amount of gold and if it is permissible to give such as mahr, this shows that there is no maximum limit to the amount one may give as mahr.

The Story of Umar Intending to Limit Dowries

The famous and widely heard story about Umar ibn Al-Khattab attempting to prohibit large dowries from the minbar and being corrected by one of the women Companions with the above verse is a weak hadith which has no validity.  What is authentic is that Umar advised people not to be excessive in dowries, but not that he prohibited people from agreeing among themselves on dowries of any amount.

The Minimum Amount of the Dowry

There are five distinct opinions concerning the minimum amount required for something to be considered acceptable as a dowry.

The First Opinion

The minimum dowry is ten dirham (somewhere around ten dollars or the price of a goat today).  This is based on the hadith:

"La mahra aqallu min 'asharati dirham."
"There is no mahr less then ten dirhams."

While Ibn Hajr found this hadith to be "hassan", most other scholars of hadith judged it as weak.  Also, it is in contradiction to the hadith cited earlier about the iron ring - which would not have been worth that amount.

The Second Opinion

According to the Malikis, the minimum required for a dowry is three dirhams.   It must be something legal according to the shari'a which can be handed over to the wife.  It must be a specified amount.  There argument, also, is that in their school, this is the minimum amount for which the thief gets the punishment of cutting.  They also cite the verse:

{Wa man lam yastiti' minkum taulan an yankiha al-muhsanaati al-mu'minaati fa min ma malakat aymaanukum min fatayaatikum al-mu'minaat...}
{And whoever of you does not have the means to wed free believing women, so from the believing women that your right hands possess...} An-Nisaa:25

Their argument is that at-taul means wealth and one who does not have three dirhams is not considered as possession any wealth.  However, there are other interpretations about what the word means in this verse.

The Third Opinion

This opinion states that anything that can be called "wealth" (maal) and is accepted by the parties is permissible as the dowry.  In essence, this opinion states that there is no minimum for the dowry.  This is the opinion of the Shafi'is, Hanbalis, Dhahiris, Ibn Wahb of the Malikis, Al-Hassan Al-Basri and others.  It is supported by the verse:

{...Wa uhilla lakum ma waraa'a dhalikum an tabtaghoo bi amwaalikum...}
{...All others have been made lawful for you provided you seek (them in marriage) with your property...}  An-Nisaa:24

The Fourth Opinion

Anything which can be called shai'an (a "thing") is acceptable as dowry.  This is the opinion of Ibn Hazm and is based on the first part of the hadith about the ring of iron where the Prophet (sas) said:

"Iltamis shai'an.  Qaala ma ajidu shai'an.  Qaala: "Iltamis wa lau khaatiman min hadeed..."
"Search for something."  He said:  I have nothing.   He (sas) said: "Search for something, even if it is just a ring made from iron."  Bukhari & Muslim

The Fifth Opinion

Anything which has value, regardless of whether it be something material or something non-material, is acceptable as dowry.  According to Ibn Al-Qayyim, this is the strongest opinion.  In fact, it seems to be the only opinion which takes into consideration all of the different hadith related to the subject.  For example, Umm Sulaim accepted Abu Talha's embracing of Islam as her mahr.  On another occasion, the Prophet (sas) acceepted as dowry what a person knew of the Qur'an saying:

"Idh-hab faqad mallaktukahaa bima ma'aka min al-qur'an"
"Go, for I have put her under your charge with what you have of the Qur'an."  Bukhari & Muslim

In other words, his mahr was to teach the woman what he knew of the Qur'an.

 

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Permalink Reply by fatima bueza on November 24, 2011 at 2:12pm

      Assalamu alaikom warah matullahi wa barakatuh brother Jibril. Thank you very much 4 the vast explanation regarding mahar. I guess 5th opinion is much better 4 those men who has a good intention to marry  his girlfriend but unable to do so because of the required dowry in islam. Subhanallah! Allah is great talaga at pinagaan NYA ang batas sa paga-asawa para di magkasala ang KANYANG mga nilikha! Jazaakallahu khair brother...insha'allah Allah's mercy and guidance will always be with us...

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Permalink Reply by ibrahim on November 24, 2011 at 7:42pm

wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh mga bro at sis,

 

alhamdulillah , jazakuma Allahu khayran mga kapatid, sa inyong karagdagang katanungan at kasagutan.

 

tama sis ang mahar ay isa sa pinakaimportanteng requirement ng kasal sa Islam, dahil sinabi ito ni Allah kaya ito ay fard o obligado na ibigay sa babae, hindi magiging legal ang kasal sa islam kapag walang mahar.

 

tama din na hindi kailngang napakalaki ng halaga ng mahar, dahil magiging dahilan din ito upang maaapi ang isang babae.

 

ang halimabawa nito ay , kung halimabawa ang mahar na binigay sa isang babae ay isang milyong peso, o kaya ang buong sub division na pagmamay-ari ng lalaki. pagkatapos ng kasal natural lamang sa isang babae na bigyan niya ang kaniyang mga mahal sa buhay lalao na mga magulang na pinagkautangan niya ng lahat, kaya mababawasan na ang hawak niyang halaga ng mahar, o kaya ang ibang lote ng subdivision ay maipmahagi niya sa kaniyang magulang , kapatid at mga mahal sa buhay o kamag-anak.

 

ang mangyayari ngayon, ay kung sakaling pagmalupitan sya ng kaniyang asawang lalaki, na wag nawang mangyayari- naudhu billah, ay hindi na maaring makipaghiwalay ng babae sa kaniayng asawang lalaki kundi magtiis na lamang sa kaniya sapagkat hindi na niya maaring ibalik ang mahar dahil sa laki naito na naipamahagi na niya.

 

kaya may wisdom kung bakit mas mainam na maliit o katam-taman lamang ang mahar ayon sa  isang hadith ng propeta muhammad, sas, ay upang maiwasan na maaapi ang isang babae, kung sakaling masamang lalaki pala ang naging asawa nito, na ito ay madalas nakatago habang hindi pa sila mag-asawa.

 

at ang sia pang wisdom na maliit lamang ang mahar ay upang hindi mahirap sa isang lalaki ang pag-aasawa, sapagkat sa Islam ang pag-aasawa ay ginawang masmadaling gawin upang iiwas ang lalaki at babae na makagawa ng haram na relasyon o zinaa o tinatawag nating girlfriend boyfriend relationship, o kalaguyo o ang pumunta sa mga prosti kung tawagin nila GRO. ating linawin na ang mga ito ay haram sa islam kahit ang paglapit lamang dito ay haram ayon sa sinabi ni Allah sa suratul isra 17:32, akay ang salitang girlfriend or boyfriend ay bad word in Islam, dahil ito ay haram, kaya sa Islam ay walang girlfriend o boyfriend.

 

kapag ang isang lalaki ay mayroon nang desire sa babae ay mayroon na siyang kakayahan sa tungkulin ay inirekomenda na sa kaniya ang pag-aasawa, ito ay ayon sa hadith ni propeta muhammad, sas.

 kaya sa Islam, kapag ang isang lalaki ay may nagustuhanang babae at mainam na sabihin niya ito sa kaniyang magulang lalo sa ama upang ito ang makipag-usap sa ama ng babae, at kung kontento ang ama ng babae sa pagiging muslim ng lalaki at magkasundo ay magpakasal na agad upang maiwasan ang fitnah, dahil kapag naging mahirap ang pag-aasawa ay nagiging masmadali ang zinaa o haram na relasyon, sapagkat tayong lahat ay nilikha na kailngan ng kabi-ak o kasama sa buhay.

 

kaya ayon sa isnag hadith ng propeta muhammad, sas, na ang pag-aasawa ay kalahati ng eman o pananampalataya sa Islam, sapagkat kalahati ng kasamaan sa ating lipunan ay nangyayari kapag hndi pa nag-aasawa ang isang lalaki o babae.

 

ang mga badeng ay dumadami, ang mga nakipag girlfriend ay dumadami din, masmarami ang gumagala sa gabi, maaring magnakaw o uminom pa ng alak makakuha lamang ng babae, at marami pang kasamaan. ngunit kapag nag-asawa na ay maiwasan na ito lahat, madaling magpakabuti ang isang tao at sumunod sa iba pang ipinag-utos ni Allah lalo sa mga iabadah o pagsamba kapag may-asawa na, at makaiwas pa sa gulo o disgrasya sa labas ng bahay sa gabi, na madalas nangyayari sa mga bianatilyo o kadalagahan na hindi pa nag-aasawa.

 

at kung sakaling hindi pa kaya ng isang lalaki ang tungkulin ay masmainam sa kaniya ang pag-aayuno, dahil ito ay nagpipigil at nagpapahina sa pagnanasa sa babae. kaya sa islam ay ginagawang responsible ang isang lalaki na kailangan magtrabaho o magnegosyo upang makaipon ng mahar sapagkat masmahirap na mag-ayuno nalamang palagi samantalang pwede namang pagbigyan ang mga pagnanasa sa halal na paraan.

 

kaya ang pag-aaral ng Qur'an sa tamang pagbabasa nito at naunawaan ang kahulugan ay may malaking pakinabang dahil maliban sa ibadah ito sa tuwing binabasa at nagiging gabay sa buhay at nagiging mahar pa ito upang maaari nang makapa-asawa. 

 

naway gantimapalaan nawa tayong lahat ni Allah, at patuloy na gabayan sa tuwid na landas , ameen

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