salamun alaykum and peace be upon those who have received the right guidance,
alhamdulillah, ang lahat na pasasalamat at papuri ay para lamang sa ating Dakilang Tagapaglikha.
The mahr (dowry) is the right of the wife.
Praise be to Allaah.
In Islam the mahr (dowry) is one of the rights of the wife, which is hers to take in total and is lawful for her, in contrast to the widespread practice in some countries, where the wife is given no dowry.
Evidence that the wife must be given her dowry is found in many places, for example the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “And give to the women (whom you marry) their mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4]
Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “This refers to the mahr (dowry).”
Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy on him, said, summarizing the comments of the mufassireen on this aayah: “The man must definitely pay the dowry to the woman, and he should not resent it.”
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“But if you intend to replace a wife by another and you have given one of them a cantar (of gold, i.e., a great amount) as mahr, take not the least bit of it back; would you take it wrongfully without a right and (with) a manifest sin? And how could you take it (back) when you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?” [al-Nisaa’ 4:20-21]
Ibn Katheer, may Allaah have mercy on him, said: “This means: if any one of you wants to divorce his wife and replace her with another, you should not take anything from what you have already given the first wife, even if it was a huge amount of wealth. The mahr is given in exchange for the right to enjoy marital relations.
For this reason Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning, in the same ayaah above):
“And how could you take it (back) when you have gone in unto each other…?”
The “firm and strong covenant” is the marriage contract.
Anas ibn Maalik, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported that ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and there were traces of yellow (perfume) on him.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked him about it, and he told him that he had just married a woman of the Ansaar. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked him, “How much did you give her?” He said: “Gold equal to the weight of one date stone.”
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Give a waleemah (wedding feast) even if only with one sheep.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4756).
The mahr or dowry is the right of the wife, and it is not permitted for her father or anyone else to take it except with her approval.
Abu Saalih said: “When a man married off his daughter, he would take her mahr away from her, but Allaah forbade them to do that, and gave women the right to the mahr they received.” (Tafseer Ibn Katheer).
Similarly, if the wife foregoes any part of the mahr, the husband is permitted to take it, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“… but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allaah has made it lawful).” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4]
And Allaah knows best.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
This dowry is even found and prescribed in the Bible as a part of the Law of God given to Moses and to other Prophets, because this is good and beneficial for the wife and also for the husband.
Genesis 30:20 And Leah said, God hath endued me with a good dowry; now will my husband dwell with me, because I have born him six sons: and she called his name Zebulun
Exodus 22:17 If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.
1Samuel 18:25 And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desires not any dowry, but a ...
So giving dowry to a woman on her wedding day, has been commanded by GOD even in the ancient times and was practiced by those ancient people.
Ibn Hajar (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
This indicates that the mahr is essential in marriage, because he said: “Do you have anything that you could give to her as a dowry?” The scholars are unanimously agreed that it is not permissible for anyone to engage in intimacy (with a woman) without naming the mahr.
It also indicates that it is better to name the mahr. If a marriage contract is done without naming the mahr, the marriage is valid and the bride is entitled to a mahr like that of other women like her, when the marriage is consummated. End quote.
Fath al-Baari, 9/211.
The Qur’aan, the Sunnah and the consensus of the scholars indicate that the dowry is to be given by the man to the woman, not vice versa. This is what is in accordance with sound human nature.
How can a man be qawwaam (in charge of) the woman when she is the one who has paid the mahr to him? Allaah has made spending of wealth by the husband one of the reasons why men are in charge of women, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisa’ 4:34]
After this spending from the husband, the wife often realizes the burden that her husband bears, so she reduces the mahr or part of it willingly. There is no sin of the husband if he then takes it.
For a Muslim (its an Arabic word which means – a person who submits and surrenders to the will of The Almighty God, in short a Muslim is the doer of Islam) such command from his Creator (in Arabic ALLAH) is sufficient for him to follow and obey, even without knowing as to the reasons why the man should give dowry to the woman on their wedding day.
It is because in Islam (again an Arabic word which means- submission, surrender and obedience to The Almighty God) whatever ALLAH commands to do is for the good and benefit for us humans, and whatever ALLAH prohibits, it is because it is harmful for us humans.
That is why girlfriend or boyfriend is prohibited by ALLAH because it is harmful for a woman and also for a man, and also for the baby born out of such a prohibited relationship.
So, if we analyze the wisdom of dowry we can find some of them enumearated below:
1. it elevates the morale of a woman because her femininity is truely valued, not only by words but by certain monetary amount.
hindi lang salita na mahal kita, napakadaling sabihin, pero in Islam kailangan patunayan ng halaga, na mahal nga, dahil may halaga at hindi libre dahil yaon ang pinakamura, at hindi mahal, syempre walang halaga.
kaya yong mga babaeng walang dowry ay madaling iniiwan, at kapag iniwan, mas naging kawawa, paano pa siya makapag-asawa ulit ng mabuti eh hindi nga siya binigyan ng halaga sa una palang?
2. it protects a woman, who is almost always at a loss right after the first wedding night and more when she gets pregnant and deliver a child if the husband has no job, or does not support her or simply left her alone.
Yan ang mga pangamba ng isang babae nang walang dowry.
Pero ang babaeng may dowry ay mas panatag ang loob niya, dahil kahit magbago man ang isip ng lalaki after the first night ay meron naman siyang hawak na pinakavalue niya, at hindi siya magugutuman, mabubuhay siya ng matagal habang nagiipon pa siya ng lakas ng loob para bumalik sa mga magulang niya, kung sakali mang iniwan na nga siya.
3. it gives security for a woman, it prevents a woman from becoming a prostitute even after broken marriage. how many women became prostitute after having a child, because the husband left her alone without any amount as dowry?
4. it makes the parents of the woman rest assured because they have the evidence and assurance that the man has a job, or has a capacity to sustain their daughter, as the dowry implies that the man has something to give even before marriage.
5. it makes a man become a responsible person, by looking for a job and strive to earn first to put up some amount as dowry, before thingking of marrying a woman.
So he is prevented from becoming an easy go lucky man, who picks up a woman , marries and leaves her- which is very common now a days.
Ang mas malupit pa, nakipaglive-in lang at saka iniwan, kaya maraming naging irresponsableng lalaki kapag hinayaan siyang walang dowry kaya ang resulta ay makipag-girl friend hanggang maglive-in, at kung mag-asawa man ay walang halaga sa kanya.
Hindi natin nilalahat, pero mraming nagiging irresponsible na mga lalaki, dahil sa walang dowry requirement sa kanila, at maraming naging kawawang babae din sa kanila.
6. the dowry prevents a man to leave his wife, so easily, because he will lose his dowry(he cant take back any amount of it from the wife) and if he wants to marry again, he needs to put up a certain amount again inorder to comply with the dowry for the next wife.
Kaya maraming kabutihan ang dowry sa lalaki at lalo na sa babae.
Isa pa lang yan sa kabutihan ng Islam, at napakarami pa nito kung mapagaralan lamang. at ito ay isang invitation na rin sa ating mga kababayan na pag-aralan ang Islam- hindi ito yaong mga naririnig at nababalitaan lamang natin.
tuklasin natin ang tunay na aral nito galing sa Quran at Mga Sunnah at Ahadith ni Propeta Muhammad, suma kaniya nawa ang kapayapaan.
Kaya marami na ngayon ang nagbabalik loob sa ating Dakilang Tagapaglikha at naging Balik-Islam din, naging Muslim na .
Naway nakapagbigay tayo ng kaunting linaw sa ating mga kapatid, at naway gabayan tayo ni ALLAH sa tamang landas ng buhay, amen.